Keep Your Arrows Pointing Out

The other day I was riding home from Flagstaff and listening to the BYU station on XM radio. I hardly EVER listen to talk radio, that is something that my husband does and it drives me crazy. Anyway, on this particular day I was tuned into the Matt Townsend show and he was talking about "being in the flow." They asked for callers who could share a time in their life when they were at their best and in the flow to call in. Well I have definitely felt out of the flow of late, but I do remember well how it felt when everything was working. So I decided to call in. Guess what? Yep, I got through. I told the guy how I had once lost so much weight and now I was struggling with the fight of it creeping back on. He said that he wanted me to stay on the line, I would be the next caller. How cool, I have never been on radio before, much less something that is heard all over the country. So I waited.

After a few minutes I heard Matt talking to his current caller and starting to wrap it up. It was my turn. So I related my boo hoo story of having lost 110 lbs and having kept it off for 4 years but in the last 6 months since moving to Winslow, I had put 30 lbs back on. (If you have read any of my other blogs, there seems to be a common thread here, doesn't there?) Anyway I related to him how I loved to hike and walk and now there was no place to hike, blah, blah, blah... Much to my dismay he didn't feel that it was any fault of Winslow that I was having problems. What he did suggest was to remember what I felt like when I was in the flow. He said that I should go back and write everything I could think of from when I felt that way. He also said something that I really liked, "keep your arrows pointing out." Spend time giving and doing for others. It will help you move forward. Interesting point (no pun intended). If I help others, it will help me? Excuse the sarcasm, I know that is true. When we lose ourselves in service to others it makes our problems seem small and we are not focusing on ourselves.

Since June 17 I have been going to Weight Watchers. Although I go (almost) every week, my heart has just not been in it. Case in point:

Week 1  Lost 0.9 lbs
Week 2  Gain 1.8 lbs
Week 3  Gain 1.4 lbs
Week 4  Lost 1.2 lbs
Week 5  Lost 1.6 lbs
Week 6  Lost 2.0 lbs
Week 7  Gain 0.8 lbs
Week 8  Gain 4.2 lbs

Whoa... 4.2? How is that even possible to gain that much weight in one week? So my grand total weight loss since June 17 is that I have gained 0.2 lbs. I know each week when I weigh in they must be thinking, "you do understand how this is supposed to work right? You are going the wrong direction."

Okay, where to go from here. I have been trying really, really hard not to be sucked in by this and solve my problems with food. I am trying really hard to remember what it felt like to be in the flow. I am trying really hard to maintain a positive attitude, throw out the past and start right now, today, right this minute. I am trying really hard to "point my arrows out" but I swear I can feel at least one or two of them poking me right now.

I remember in my previous Weight Watchers experience, I had a small gain one week and the lady simply told me, "you know what to do." At the time I thought well that ISN'T very comforting. But you know what I've come to realize? I do know what to do. Am I willing to do it or is it easier to wallow? I am the ONLY person who can make a change for me. It is time to put on my big girl panties and kick it in gear.

New goal. I want to run in the Groom Creek 5k this year. I have run in it 3 times before. I have about a month to train. Even if I can't run the whole thing, I can do it. There, a commitment in writing for all the world to see. To keep me accountable, I will keep you updated on my training. So as the leader at Weight Watchers says each week, "go out there and be a loser!"